this guy I know from law school -- we'll call him "Himself." He was so dubbed by a good friend of mine after hearing me babble for a good ten minutes about how he was so gorgeous, and tall, and smart, and kind, and interesting, and funny, and generally just a big ball of wonderful -- somehow, it seems fitting.
So here's some background on Himself to make this current diatribe understandable: we were in the same class in law school and met over the summer after 1L year. I thought he was drop-dead gorgeous yet somehow was able to actually talk to him. Nothing happened, though, because I was embroiled in Iteration #umptythousand of my re-relationship with my college boyfriend and he had just started seeing some incoming 1L chick. I eventually cut the mobius-relationship off, but things with Himself and Chickie (who, fine, was actually a delightful, bright, and attractive girl I probably would have otherwise been friends with) were getting serious. However, Himself gradually, over the course of 2L year, made more and more efforts to hang out with me, and, as I'd developed a ridiculously large crush on him by that point, I happily agreed whenever he suggested a spur-of-the-moment walk/dinner/drink.
Over THAT summer, Chickie went away, and of course Himself played. But only once, and nothing actually happened -- we went out drinking, stayed up talking until 4 in the morning, and he slept over. Yes, in my bed, but really, honestly and truly, just slept -- after the tiniest of goodnight kisses. But Chickie came back, and things went on as before -- he and I hung out, she wasn't a big fan, but really, what was she going to complain about? Third year, things got a little more complicated -- we had a class together and he TA'd another class I was in, so we had a lot of necessary togetherness, and occasional unnecessary togetherness. He continued to be slightly more attentive than is perhaps appropriate of a guy friend who has a current, present girlfriend. Notably, when my sister came to visit for a night, he invited himself out to dinner with us. When the three of us ended up at the local bar, Chickie also showed up and was an unhappy little girlfriend. But, it didn't seem to throw him that much, and he and I continued to hang out. Until, in January, I couldn't take it anymore, and basically, over a few too many beers, said "hey, I'm wildly attracted to you and this friends thing is crap." Although admitting that there was something there, he stuck firmly to his relationship, and we didn't really speak for a long long time. (Please note I'm cutting huge parts of the sidelines stuff out -- in the interim, I dated, hooked up and generally tested the available waters, but still didn't find anyone I thought was as "tube-of-wonderful" as Himself. of course.)
And then, this winter, he called, out of the blue, at 1am. (Fortunately, I was asleep and couldn't have picked up if I wanted to. So he had to leave a message and I had to debate for three days about whether I wanted to call him back. Which (duh!) I did.) We chatted telephonically a few times a month for awhile, during which time I discovered that, even though we'd both moved, he lived about ten minutes away from me. Also, from other sources, I found out that he and Chickie had amicably broken up (because he didn't want to get any more serious, apparently) sometime around the time of that first call. Finally, like two months ago, I saw him again for the first time in a year. We went to dinner, it was lovely, we chatted, also lovely, he exhibited signs of interest, but again, nothing happened that well and truly crossed any lines. And then.... a whole bunch of phone calls wanting to hang out in about ten minutes -- never ever a suggestion to make a plan, and unfortunately, what with the whole lawyer thing and the "all my friends live in other states and I miss them and visit them compulsively" thing, I'm not around the home base alot unless I specifically plan to be. So, of course, I haven't seen him since then.
And the most recent call is the root of my frustration. He calls, random chat, discussion about our jobs and the potential death of all civil liberties and then
Him: "HEY, I have a question, it's your birthday soon, right?"
Me: "Um, yeah."
Him: "What day is it?"
Me: "Friday."
Him: "REALLY? Friday. Hm. What an *interesting* day to have a birthday. Really, interesting. So... do you have plans?"
Me: "Yes, I'm hanging out with friends in <Greatest City on Earth>."
Him: "Oh, really? All weekend or just Friday?"
Me: "Just Friday."
Him: "Oh, just Friday?"
pause
pause
Him: So where in <Greatest City>?
<insert random chitchat>
Him: Okay, well, that's all I've got, so, um, enjoy your birthday, bye!
<click>
Me: .....???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
am I crazy, or was the next logical thing for him to say was "so, want to do something saturday?" Some could say I'm being conceited to think he wanted to see me at all -- but here's the thing -- he dropped the whole "Question-birthday" thing slap-bang in the middle of another thriving line of discussion -- literally, just stopped it dead to ask, apropos of NOTHING at all. Why bring it up and ask detailed questions if you have no actual interest in doing SOMETHING with the answers? why? If it wasn't so sadly eighties, I'd say "Color me confused." As it is, I just hopped up and down with irritation for about ten minutes, and am now quietly stewing while getting no work done.
So, male readers, if there are any of you still out there after my recent sabbatical, can YOU explain this bizarre behavior? is it not bizarre? is it just me? should i give up and start seeking new sources of entertainment? Help!
First off, I am quite gald you decided to post again since I find your disconnected thoughts quite funny.
Secondly, as I guy, I would have totally done the same thing since I would have totally planned out the whole conversation in my head and only would have planned for a "no" about previous plans on Fri, at which time you woul dhave thrown me for a loop and my pre-planned script for asking you out would be worthless. Also, he may have had an idea only for something that happens on Fri. and he didnt have a backup for Sat. Just a thought.
Posted by: Chris | July 26, 2005 at 12:51 PM