You Know What I Hate? (In Which I Bitch)

1. Westlaw KeyCite flags - specifically, the fact that sometimes they appear to be assigned by untrained monkeys by the "point and drool" method -- A "BUT SEE" CITE IS NOT A NEGATIVE CITING REFERENCE, YOU MORONS! I wouldn't care so much, except that sometimes certain judges, clearly the offspring of these untrained monkeys, ALSO don't read the cases and try to tell me the case I'm relying on was "overruled," on the strength of the fact that Westlaw has stuck a stupid yellow flag next to it EVEN THOUGH THE NEGATIVE REFERENCE IS IN ANOTHER JURISDICTION. I love my job, but sometimes, I swear, I want to run away and join the circus.

2. The fact that you can be totally stressed out for several days at a stretch trying to do a particular thing the very best you can, and then discover at the end that NOPE, your best was wrong.

3. This morning's discovery that, due to three months of not working out AT ALL (hell, of moving more than two muscles at a time for fear of angering The Brain), I look ridiculous in all my clothes -- seriously, I'm fairly certain that children just point and laugh when I go outside.

4. That, last night as I was reading through the archives of one of my new favorite sites (which I can't link to for fear of someone figuring out who the person three clauses down is, otherwise known as the "slippery slope towards non-anonymity) , enjoying all the fantastic writing and hilariousness, and feeling all happy and tra-la about my discovery, I scrolled down and CAME UPON THE FACE OF MY MORTAL ENEMY IN HIGH SCHOOL, accompanied by a story about how the blogger had met said enemy on a trip and thought she was just the cat's pajamas. At which I felt my face start to melt off in fury. This girl was, like, the devil -- whilst playing the part of best friend in our  quartet, she slept with one of our boyfriends, stole another's job, and generally backstabbed and doublecrossed like a soap opera diva -- all while looking sweet as pie. Thankfully, once we all went to college, she sort of dropped off the map, having apparently found new "friends" to torture. AND THEN I HAD TO SEE HER FACE COME INTO MY APARTMENT LAST NIGHT - THE HORROR. <shudder>. I think I might need counseling for it -- and also for being a drama queen. but whatever, it was like watching Sesame Street and all of a sudden having Leatherface pop up in the middle.

5. THE WORLD.

(In case you could not tell, I am a touch cranky this morning. I would say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but my bed only has one side -- perhaps I just woke up on the wrong side OF MY LIFE.)

Comments

[E. McPan]

I recently met a person who works for the organization that funds my job. It turns out she's the younger sister of the girl who considered me her mortal enemy for supposedly sleeping with her boyfriend (which, I admit I did, but it was before she was even going out with him, so that totally does not count). We made the connection that each of us was this person and it was really awkward from then on.

[Baby Lawyer]

oh GOD - not one of life's good surprises! Especially if the girl doesn't realize that her sister is NUTS (um, if I were to hate everyone who'd ever slept with any of my boyfriends before I met them, I don't know if I would actually be able to talk to any girl in America. and some boys. but that's another story for another, much drunker, time.)